We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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