theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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