He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
