i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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