My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
