finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
