Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
