Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
