I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
