hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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