My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
