I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize