She is in my trunk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
