Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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