I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
