I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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