i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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