Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
