Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
