Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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