she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
