I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
