whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize