I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
zippers are such a cool invention
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
