I'm lost and stupid without you.
I smell stomach acid.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize