college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize