peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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