we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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