If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
