What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
