bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
