i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
