Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
