Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
