Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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