So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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