so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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