Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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