he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize