i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
