you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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