Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just googled if crying burns calories
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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