I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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