You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
