shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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