I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
