Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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