Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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