google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
