im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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