i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
