I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
