its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
