I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
