So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
