Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize