ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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