i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
