she woke up with a sticky ear
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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