im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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