i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
