so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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