whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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