I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
